This is hilarious. An Englishman can not construct sentences using numeric, but the Malaysians and Singaporeans are good at it.
Ah Lek can tell a story using sentences with the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Not only is he able to do it with 1 to 10, he can also do it backward from 10 to 1. This is what he came up with.
numbers upwards
1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.
numbers downwards
10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
A vehicle spare part called 710
Enjoy life, have a good laugh and get to know what is 710, spare part for your car.
Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten spare part.
We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."
The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece of spare part looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!
He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"
She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."
Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........
Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten spare part.
We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."
The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece of spare part looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!
He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"
She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."
Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Learning Life
GREAT LEARNING TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
GREAT LEARNING TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge …. mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT LEARNING TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; LEARNING TO BELIEVE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . having money.
At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
Share this with someone so that he or she can have a good laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way.
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
GREAT LEARNING TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge …. mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT LEARNING TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; LEARNING TO BELIEVE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . having money.
At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
Share this with someone so that he or she can have a good laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Beware! It is a stun-gun, not just a torchlight
Torch light is a Stun-gun, and for your information, this is the latest weapon used by thieves and robbers.
You ought to read this to protect yourself.
I just thought to let know what my doctor told me recently. I don't think she was lying and neither am I, so please pass this on to your friends. Her clinic is in SS2 and you know how congested that place is.
One morning a few months ago in broad daylight, a girl was getting into her car when a few men approached her with what looked like a torchlight. Looks quite a harmless gadget. They pressed the "torchlight" into her back and immediately she went limp and very pale. So she was not able to fight back, they slashed her thigh with a parang and sped away in her car.
There were many people around and they quickly took her to the nearest clinic which was my doctor's clinic. There were two doctors at that time and they managed to stitch up her wound but the girl remained pulse-less and still pale as paper. No pulse, no BP (blood pressure). Just like dead.
My doctors were confused as to how one wound on the thigh made the girl almost like dead? They managed to revive her and save her life.
After some checking around, the doctors found out what actually happened was that the girl was made unconscious not by a torchlight but actually a high voltage weapon, a stun-gun. I forgot how many watts she mentioned. 1000? Anyway, it was high enough to kill a person by electrocution.
It seems that this torchlight cum stun-gun thing is from China. It's not rampant yet in Malaysia, but with this thing, an evil-intentioned person can rob, rape, kill, kidnap, and practically do anything to you. My doctor said that if the girl weren't taken to the clinic immediately she would have died because there was no pulse on her.
So please just beware of your surroundings, if anybody is lurking around with a torchlight-thingy and approaches you, just scream or run away. Better to be embarrassed than ZAPPED and fried, right? Take care.
This item is called "stun-gun".
You ought to read this to protect yourself.
I just thought to let know what my doctor told me recently. I don't think she was lying and neither am I, so please pass this on to your friends. Her clinic is in SS2 and you know how congested that place is.
One morning a few months ago in broad daylight, a girl was getting into her car when a few men approached her with what looked like a torchlight. Looks quite a harmless gadget. They pressed the "torchlight" into her back and immediately she went limp and very pale. So she was not able to fight back, they slashed her thigh with a parang and sped away in her car.
There were many people around and they quickly took her to the nearest clinic which was my doctor's clinic. There were two doctors at that time and they managed to stitch up her wound but the girl remained pulse-less and still pale as paper. No pulse, no BP (blood pressure). Just like dead.
My doctors were confused as to how one wound on the thigh made the girl almost like dead? They managed to revive her and save her life.
After some checking around, the doctors found out what actually happened was that the girl was made unconscious not by a torchlight but actually a high voltage weapon, a stun-gun. I forgot how many watts she mentioned. 1000? Anyway, it was high enough to kill a person by electrocution.
It seems that this torchlight cum stun-gun thing is from China. It's not rampant yet in Malaysia, but with this thing, an evil-intentioned person can rob, rape, kill, kidnap, and practically do anything to you. My doctor said that if the girl weren't taken to the clinic immediately she would have died because there was no pulse on her.
So please just beware of your surroundings, if anybody is lurking around with a torchlight-thingy and approaches you, just scream or run away. Better to be embarrassed than ZAPPED and fried, right? Take care.
This item is called "stun-gun".
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Isn’t it true? You are the judge.
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask: “did I wake you?”
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
01. Kidnappers are not interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask: “did I wake you?”
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
延年益壽十則
一句箴言 ：
天下沒有偷懶可得的
二句話 ：
對於以往不愉快的事及逆境，不發牢騷，不念舊惡。
對於未來的日子沒有奢望，但求平安幸福。
三養：
保養，營養，修養。
四忘：
忘記年齡，忘記錢財，忘記子孫，忘記煩惱。
五福：
有健康身體謂之福，有興趣讀書謂之福，
有知己好友謂之福，有人惦念你謂之福，
做自己喜歡做的事謂之福。
六喜：
一喜退而不休，二喜兒女獨立，三喜無欲則剛，
四喜問心無愧，五喜好友甚多，六喜心情不老。
七樂：
知足常樂，閒中作樂，自得其樂，及時行樂，
助人為樂，行善是樂，平安最樂。
八點：
嘴巴甜一點，腦筋活一點，脾氣小一點，度量大一點，
心放寬一點，做事多一點，說話輕一點，微笑多一點。
九常：
齒常叩，津常咽，鼻常揉，眼常動，面常搓，
足常磨，腹常旋，肢常伸，肛常提
健康十則：
少肉多菜，少鹽多醋，少糖多果，少食多嚼，
少衣多浴，少言多做，少欲多施，少憂多眠，
少車多行，少氣多笑。
天下沒有偷懶可得的
二句話 ：
對於以往不愉快的事及逆境，不發牢騷，不念舊惡。
對於未來的日子沒有奢望，但求平安幸福。
三養：
保養，營養，修養。
四忘：
忘記年齡，忘記錢財，忘記子孫，忘記煩惱。
五福：
有健康身體謂之福，有興趣讀書謂之福，
有知己好友謂之福，有人惦念你謂之福，
做自己喜歡做的事謂之福。
六喜：
一喜退而不休，二喜兒女獨立，三喜無欲則剛，
四喜問心無愧，五喜好友甚多，六喜心情不老。
七樂：
知足常樂，閒中作樂，自得其樂，及時行樂，
助人為樂，行善是樂，平安最樂。
八點：
嘴巴甜一點，腦筋活一點，脾氣小一點，度量大一點，
心放寬一點，做事多一點，說話輕一點，微笑多一點。
九常：
齒常叩，津常咽，鼻常揉，眼常動，面常搓，
足常磨，腹常旋，肢常伸，肛常提
健康十則：
少肉多菜，少鹽多醋，少糖多果，少食多嚼，
少衣多浴，少言多做，少欲多施，少憂多眠，
少車多行，少氣多笑。
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