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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Chinese Christian names may cause confusion.

Go ahead and have a good laugh! But, friends who are Chinese with Christian names please don't take offence.

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller : I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan has involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator : I'm Saw Lee.

Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!

This is hilarious ...

If you don't get the laugh, replace the above names with:

Annie Wan = anyone
Sam Wan = someone
Noel Wan=no one
Avery Wan=everyone
Saw Lee = sorry


Chinese shouldn't adopt these Christian names:

Anne Chang => In Mandarin, it sounds like "an zang 骯髒", meaning: dirty.
Anne Chin => In Mandarin, it sounds like "an jing 安靜", meaning: Keep Quiet.
Faye Chen => In Mandarin, it sounds like "hui chen 灰塵", meaning: Dusty.
Carl Cheng => In Hokkien (a Chinese dialect), it sounds like "ka cheng", meaning: Buttock.
Monica Cheng => In Hokkien (a Chinese dialect), it sounds like "mo ni ka cheng", meaning: Touching your buttocks.
Lucy Leow =>In Hokkien (a Chinese dialect), it sounds like "lu xi liao", meaning:You are dead .
Jane Tan => In Mandarin, it sounds like "jian dan 煎蛋", meaning: Frying eggs.
Suzie Leow =>In Hokkien (a Chinese dialect), it sounds like "su si liao", meaning: Lose til you fall dead.
Henry Mah => In Mandarin, it sounds like "hen ni ma 恨你媽", meaning: Hate your mum
Paul Chan => In Mandarin, it sounds like "po chan 破產", meaning: Bankrupt.
Nelson Tan => In Mandarin, it sounds like "nia sheng dan 鳥生蛋", meaning: Bird laying eggs.
Leslie Tong => In Mandarin, it sounds like "le xi tong 垃圾桶", meaning: Rubbish Bin.



CPA Review

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Boiling water in the microwave oven - DON'T

I got this from an email sent to me by a friend. I don' t know how true it is. Take it as being true. There is no harm taking it as being true, is it not? Pass this on after reading. This message may very well save someone from a lot of pain and suffering. - lifebell






Quote:
A 26-year old guy decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he told me he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but instantly the water in the cup 'blew-up' into his face.

The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face, which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye..
While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as: a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc. It is however a much safer choice to boil the water in a tea kettle.

General Electric 's (GE) response:

Thanks for contacting us. I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct.
Micro waved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach the boiling point.
They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all.
The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or teabag is put into it.
To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup.
After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding anything into it.

Unquote


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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Your wife and your girlfriend

Education For Careers


This article came into my email. I find it so interesting and hilarious that I would like to share with you:-


Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)
At home watch TV, go out bring HP.
No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.
Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.
TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but handphone is cute, slim,
curvy and very portable at any time.
Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding,
Most Important, TV got remote.. HP don't have..
Last but not least........

TV do not have virus, but h/p yes..........have VIRUS............... once get it, hahahahaha......
so better choose TV


CheapOair.com

Friday, July 03, 2009

Two Choices

Make the choice. It is not difficult to make. The boys at the baseball game made it and had made it fast, instantly. They made the day. The day Shay cherished until the day he died. The day Shay's father had sweet tears on his eyes. - lifebell

This came into my email box. I think it is worthwhile to share it here in this blog. I think the writer of this article did a good job. I would like to thank him.

Quote
Two Choices

What would you do?.....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued.... 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball... Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all teammates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Delete

2. Forward

May your day, be a Shay Day

Umquote

Friday, June 05, 2009

Savings on soap

Don't throw away the remainder of the cake of soap when you hardly can hold it in your hand. Paste it onto a new cake. Very soon, the old and the new soap stick together. In this manner, you can prolong the life of the old cake. No waste, just saving.

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Jams - products of Malaysia

Malaysia produces jam. And there are 3 categories of jam. First, it is the jam for the bread. Second, that is the jam for the road traffic. And, third, it is the 24 jam found at the 24-hours operations chain-stores and at the petrol stations.


Note: jam is the Malay Language for hours (or, clock or watch).

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Saturday, May 16, 2009

Detecting HIDDEN CAMERA in a public toilet

Check with your handphone, make sure that your handphone can still make a call before you enter a restroom.

And after entering into that particular toilet, if your phone cannot make a call out (this is due to the interference of fibre optic during implementation), it means that there is a HIDDEN CAMERA inside, so be very cautious ladies!!

This is a English translation from:-

昨晚看了台灣“超級怪怪怪“節目時、主持人教了一個偵測廁所是否有針孔攝影機的方法、我想這方法每個女生都適用、下次不妨試一試。

進入公廁前先看看你的手提能不能撥電話、確認進入廁所後、再看看你的手提是否一樣可撥出電話、如果在廁所外可撥出、而在廁所內卻不可撥出、就是有問題、因為安裝的時候光纖的問題會令電話不能正常接收、這時你就要當心了。

Friday, May 15, 2009

一生都要"學習"做人,沒有畢業可言

以下是位朋友電郵寄給我。我要更多人和我分享這智慧。

第一、「學習認錯」。
 人常常不肯認錯,凡事都說是別人的錯,認為自己才是對的,其實不認錯就是一個錯。認錯的對象可以是父母、朋友、社會大眾、佛祖,甚至向兒女或是對我不好的人認錯,自己不但不會少了什麼,反而顯得你有度量。學習認錯是美好的,是一個大修行。

第二、「學習柔和」。

人的牙齒是硬的,舌頭是軟的,到了人生的最後,牙齒都掉光了,舌頭卻不會掉,所以要柔軟,人生才能長久,硬反而吃虧。心地柔軟了,是修行最大的進步。一般形容執著的人說,你的心、你的性格很冷、很硬,像鋼鐵一樣。如果我們像禪門說的調息、調身、調心,慢慢調伏像野馬、像猴子的這顆心,令它柔軟,人生才能活得更快樂、更長久。

第三、「學習生忍」。
 這世間就是忍一口氣,風平浪靜,退一步海闊天空;忍,萬事都能消除。忍就是會處理、會化解,用智慧、能力讓大事化小、小事化無。各位要生活、要生存、要生命,有了忍,可以認清世間的好壞、善惡、是非,甚至接受它。

第四、「學習溝通」。
 缺乏溝通,就會產生是非、爭執與誤會。現在中國大陸、香港和台灣,兩岸三地最重要的就是溝通,相互了解、相互體諒、相互幫助,大家都是龍兄虎弟,互相爭執、不溝通怎麼能和平呢?

第五、「學習放下」。

人生像一只皮箱,需要用的時候提起,不用的時就把它放下,應放下的時候,卻不放下,就像拖著沉重的行李,無法自在。人生的歲月有限,認錯、尊重、包容才能讓人接受,放下才自在啊!

第六、「學習感動」。
 我們看到人家得好處,要歡喜;看到好人好事,要能感動。感動是一個愛心、菩薩心、菩提心,在我幾十年的歲月裡,有許多事情、語言感動了我,所以我也很努力的想辦法讓別人感動。

第七、「學習生存」。
 為了生存,我要維護身體健康,身體健康不但對自己有利,也讓朋友、家人放心,所以也是孝親的行為。為了生存,要學習勤勞、積極、待人的禮貌,大家才能接受我。金錢、愛情、生活的處理及做人處事都要有方法,所謂「不依規矩,不能成方圓」;國家要達成「民心之所向」,才會安全。

第八、「學習靈巧」。
 靈巧就是懂得隨機應變,隨時調適自己來適應生活,不是要求別人要如何改變來配合自己!其實給人方便就是給自己的未來方便,不要把所有的路都封閉起來,幸福其實就在身邊。

Sunday, May 10, 2009

手机还能做的4件事情

你可試一試。

除了打电话以外,你的手机还能做4件事情,你以前不一定知道。我们可能或多或少的知道一些紧急情况下的自救办法,但你可能不知道你的手机在紧要关头也能救你一命。看看下面的内容了解下你的手机能做什么吧!

1. 紧急情况

全世界的手机都可以拨打的共同紧急救援号码是112,加入你发现自己所在的地区无手机信号覆盖,同时你又遇到了紧急状况,用你的手机拨打112准没错,因 为这时候你的手机会自动搜索所有可用的网络并建立起紧急呼叫。特别有趣的是,即使你的手机是在键盘锁定的状态,你同样可以拨打112。试试吧!

2. 把车用遥控器落在车里了?

你的车用遥控能打开吧?如果可以,在你有一天将车用遥控器落在车里而且备用的遥控又在家里的话,你会发现有个手机真方便,用手机拨通家里人的手机,将你的 手机拿在离车门一英尺的地方,同时家里人拿着遥控器在他的手机旁边按响遥控器上的开锁键,这边你的车门就可以打开了。这个方法不管你把车开得离家有多远都 奏效。

3. 隐形的备用电池

你的手机电量不足了,为了让它能够继续使用,按*3370# 键,手机会重新启动,启动完毕后,你就会发现电量增加了50%。这部分隐藏的备用电量用完了你就必须得充电了,再次充电的时候,隐形的备用电池也同时充 电,下次电量低的时候又可以用这个方法。知道这个在紧急情况下如果手机电量不足非常管用。

4. 手机被偷了? 有个办法让小偷也用不了,嘿嘿!

查看手机的序列号,只需键入* # 0 6 # 15位序列号会出现在手机屏幕上,全世界的每一台手机都有一个独一无二的序列号,把这个序列号记录下来并保存好。有一天如果你的手机不幸被偷了,打电话给 手机提供商,并提供你的手机序列号,他们会帮你把手机屏蔽,这样即使小偷换了SIM卡,仍然无法使用,你的手机对小偷来说变得一无是处。如果全世界每个手 机持有者都这么做,那么偷手机就没有意义了。

在澳洲,警方甚至建立了一个被盗手机数据库,如果你的手机被找到了,就可以归还给你了。

大家不要吝啬,转告给你们的朋友哦! 或者、把這部落傳接你的網頁。

Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Special Guests in a hotel you would not like to entertain


Believe it or not.... , but there is no harm in taking precaution, is it not?

‘SPECIAL GUESTS IN A HOTEL’

For single hotels there is at least one permanent room, which is left vacant at all times. No matter how full the hotel is, they are not to sell that room(s) to any guest. It is said that the special room is 'reserved' for those 'special visitors'.

So, if you plan to stay in some hotel, always book in advance. Try to avoid walk-ins. If the receptionist tells you there's no more room available, do not insist to get one anymore or try to bribe them to give you a room. If you do that, most of the time the room you have will be that 'special room'.

Sometimes those 'special visitors' might go to other rooms also, so here's some tips on how to protect yourself.

Before entering your room, always knock on the door first, even if you know the room is vacant.

After you enter the room, if you feel very cold suddenly and have 'chicken spore', leave the room quietly immediately and go to the reception to request to change room.

Most of the time, the receptionist will understand what's happening.

After you enter the room, immediately switch on all of the lights, and open the curtain to let the sunlight in.

Before you go to bed, arrange your shoes so that one of them is upside down. Some say this represents yin and yang to protect you while you're asleep.

Always leave at least a lamp on while you're sleeping, preferably the toilet lamp.

If you' re staying alone and they have give you a twin bed, do not sleep with the other bed vacant, try to put your things, like luggage, on the other bed before you sleep.

Here's another tip…..

When you enter your hotel room, look for the Bible. Most hotels place the Bible inside a drawer, however, if upon entering, you see the Bible on the table, DON'T STAY IN THAT ROOM. It means 'special visitors' are there.

If you see the Bible opened up on the table, LEAVE THAT ROOM IMMEDIATELY and request for a change of room! It means the 'special visitor' is really creating trouble in that room!


‘SPECIAL GUESTS IN A CINEMA’

Here are some tips on protecting yourself in the cinema:

Do not attend the first screening of any movies in the cinema. By the first screening, I mean the first time the movie is shown in that particular cinema. What's the reason?

The first screening is meant for the 'special visitors'. However, if you insist on going, then sit somewhere in the middle. The first and last rows are reserved for 'them'.

Ever notice the last row in your local Cineplex is always vacant? Now you know 'who' reserves the seats."

Friday, April 17, 2009

Constructing sentences using numbers

This is hilarious. An Englishman can not construct sentences using numeric, but the Malaysians and Singaporeans are good at it.

Ah Lek can tell a story using sentences with the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Not only is he able to do it with 1 to 10, he can also do it backward from 10 to 1. This is what he came up with.

numbers upwards

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

numbers downwards

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

A vehicle spare part called 710

Enjoy life, have a good laugh and get to know what is 710, spare part for your car.

Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten spare part.

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece of spare part looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........




Saturday, April 11, 2009

Learning Life

GREAT LEARNING TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

GREAT LEARNING TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge …. mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT LEARNING TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE; LEARNING TO BELIEVE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . having money.
At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.

Share this with someone so that he or she can have a good laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Beware! It is a stun-gun, not just a torchlight

Torch light is a Stun-gun, and for your information, this is the latest weapon used by thieves and robbers.

You ought to read this to protect yourself.

I just thought to let know what my doctor told me recently. I don't think she was lying and neither am I, so please pass this on to your friends. Her clinic is in SS2 and you know how congested that place is.

One morning a few months ago in broad daylight, a girl was getting into her car when a few men approached her with what looked like a torchlight. Looks quite a harmless gadget. They pressed the "torchlight" into her back and immediately she went limp and very pale. So she was not able to fight back, they slashed her thigh with a parang and sped away in her car.

There were many people around and they quickly took her to the nearest clinic which was my doctor's clinic. There were two doctors at that time and they managed to stitch up her wound but the girl remained pulse-less and still pale as paper. No pulse, no BP (blood pressure). Just like dead.

My doctors were confused as to how one wound on the thigh made the girl almost like dead? They managed to revive her and save her life.

After some checking around, the doctors found out what actually happened was that the girl was made unconscious not by a torchlight but actually a high voltage weapon, a stun-gun. I forgot how many watts she mentioned. 1000? Anyway, it was high enough to kill a person by electrocution.

It seems that this torchlight cum stun-gun thing is from China. It's not rampant yet in Malaysia, but with this thing, an evil-intentioned person can rob, rape, kill, kidnap, and practically do anything to you. My doctor said that if the girl weren't taken to the clinic immediately she would have died because there was no pulse on her.

So please just beware of your surroundings, if anybody is lurking around with a torchlight-thingy and approaches you, just scream or run away. Better to be embarrassed than ZAPPED and fried, right? Take care.

This item is called "stun-gun".

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Isn’t it true? You are the judge.

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask: “did I wake you?”

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!

延年益壽十則

一句箴言 :
天下沒有偷懶可得的

二句話 :
對於以往不愉快的事及逆境,不發牢騷,不念舊惡。
對於未來的日子沒有奢望,但求平安幸福。

三養:
保養,營養,修養。

四忘:
忘記年齡,忘記錢財,忘記子孫,忘記煩惱。

五福:
有健康身體謂之福,有興趣讀書謂之福,
有知己好友謂之福,有人惦念你謂之福,
做自己喜歡做的事謂之福。


六喜:
一喜退而不休,二喜兒女獨立,三喜無欲則剛,
四喜問心無愧,五喜好友甚多,六喜心情不老。

七樂:
知足常樂,閒中作樂,自得其樂,及時行樂,
助人為樂,行善是樂,平安最樂。

八點:
嘴巴甜一點,腦筋活一點,脾氣小一點,度量大一點,
心放寬一點,做事多一點,說話輕一點,微笑多一點。

九常:
齒常叩,津常咽,鼻常揉,眼常動,面常搓,
足常磨,腹常旋,肢常伸,肛常提

健康十則:
少肉多菜,少鹽多醋,少糖多果,少食多嚼,
少衣多浴,少言多做,少欲多施,少憂多眠,
少車多行,少氣多笑。

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Beware - a new way of carjacking

'WARNING – BEWARE, A PIECE OF PAPER STUCK ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE IS A NEW WAY OF CARJACKINGS' (THIS IS NOT A JOKE)”



You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift back into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car. And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!

BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.
DON’T FALL INTO THIS TRAP
If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this article. I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of; personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.

Please, keep this circulating... Please keep this going to combact the crime.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Laugh it out!

A good laugh could also be good medicine. Please see the below collection of some real records of Wonderful English from Around the World: -

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner, if dressed as a man.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Doctors office, Rome:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
Drop your trousers here for the best results.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:
Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

On a poster at Kencom:
Are you an adult that cannot read? If so we can help.

In a City restaurant:
Open seven days a week and weekends.

In a cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

Hotel, Japan:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose.

Hotel, Zurich:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

A laundry in Rome:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Life, as a 97 year-old doctor sees it

At the age of 97 years and 4 months, Shigeaki Hinohara is one of the world's longest-serving physicians and educators. Hinohara's magic touch is legendary: Since 1941 he has been healing patients at St. Luke's International Hospital in Tokyo and teaching at St. Luke's College of Nursing. After World War II, he envisioned a world-class hospital and college springing from the ruins of Tokyo; thanks to his pioneering spirit and business savvy, the doctor turned these institutions into the nation's top medical facility and nursing school. Today he serves as chairman of the board of trustees at both organizations. Always willing to try new things, he has published around 150 books since his 75th birthday, including one "Living Long, Living Good" that has sold more than 1.2 million copies. As the founder of the New Elderly Movement, Hinohara encourages others to live a long and happy life, a quest in which no role model is better than the doctor himself.


Doctor Shigeaki Hinohara JUDIT KAWAGUCHIPHOTO


Energy comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot.
We all remember how as children, when we were having fun, we often forgot to eat or sleep. I believe that we can keep that attitude as adults, too. It's best not to tire the body with too many rules such as lunchtime and bedtime.

All people who live long regardless of nationality, race or gender share one thing in common: None are overweight...
For breakfast I drink coffee, a glass of milk and some orange juice with a tablespoon of olive oil in it. Olive oil is great for the arteries and keeps my skin healthy. Lunch is milk and a few cookies, or nothing when I am too busy to eat. I never get hungry because I focus on my work. Dinner is veggies, a bit of fish and rice, and, twice a week, 100 grams of lean meat.

Always plan ahead.
My schedule book is already full until 2014, with lectures and my usual hospital work. In 2016 I'll have some fun, though: I plan to attend the Tokyo Olympics!

There is no need to ever retire, but if one must, it should be a lot later than 65.
The current retirement age was set at 65 half a century ago, when the average life-expectancy in Japan was 68 years and only 125 Japanese were over 100 years old. Today, Japanese women live to be around 86 and men 80, and we have 36,000 centenarians in our country. In 20 years we will have about 50,000 people over the age of 100.

Share what you know.
I give 150 lectures a year, some for 100 elementary-school children, others for 4,500 business people. I usually speak for 60 to 90 minutes, standing, to stay strong.

When a doctor recommends you take a test or have some surgery, ask whether the doctor would suggest that his or her spouse or children go through such a procedure.
Contrary to popular belief, doctors can't cure everyone. So why cause unnecessary pain with surgery. I think music and animal therapy can help more than most doctors imagine.

To stay healthy, always take the stairs and carry your own stuff.
I take two stairs at a time, to get my muscles moving.

My inspiration is Robert Browning's poem "Abt Vogler."
My father used to read it to me. It encourages us to make big art, not small scribbles. It says to try to draw a circle so huge that there is no way we can finish it while we are alive. All we see is an arch; the rest is beyond our vision but it is there in the distance.

Pain is mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it.
If a child has a toothache, and you start playing a game together, he or she immediately forgets the pain. Hospitals must cater to the basic need of patients: We all want to have fun. At St. Luke's we have music and animal therapies, and art classes.

Don't be crazy about amassing material things.
Remember: You don't know when your number is up, and you can't take it with you to the next place.

Hospitals must be designed and prepared for major disasters, and they must accept every patient who appears at their doors.
We designed St.Luke's so we can operate anywhere: in the basement, in the corridors, in the chapel. Most people thought I was crazy to prepare for a catastrophe, but on March 20, 1995, I was unfortunately proven right when members of the Aum Shinrikyu religious cult launched a terrorist attack in the Tokyo subway. We accepted 740 victims and in two hours figured out that it was sarin gas that had hit them. Sadly we lost one person, but we saved 739 lives.

Science alone can't cure or help people.
Science lumps us all together, but illness is individual. Each person is unique, and diseases are connected to their hearts. To know the illness and help people, we need liberal and visual arts, not just medical ones.

Life is filled with incidents.
On March 31, 1970, when I was 59 years old, I boarded the Yodogo, a flight from Tokyo to Fukuoka. It was a beautiful sunny morning, and as Mount Fuji came into sight, the plane was hijacked by the Japanese Communist League-Red Army Faction. I spent the next four days handcuffed to my seat in 40-degree heat. As a doctor, I looked at it all as an experiment and was amazed at how the body slowed down in a crisis.

Find a role model and aim to achieve even more than they could ever do.
My father went to the United States in 1900 to study at Duke University in North Carolina. He was a pioneer and one of my heroes. Later I found a few more life guides, and when I am stuck, I ask myself how they would deal with the problem.

It's wonderful to live long.
Until one is 60 years old, it is easy to work for one's family and to achieve one's goals. But in our later years, we should strive to contribute to society. Since the age of 65, I have worked as a volunteer. I still put in 18 hours seven days a week and love every minute of it.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

LIFE'S LESSONS

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about..
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ' In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back..
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

'ICE' (In Case of Emergency) Campaign

We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory but nobody, other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our closest family or friends.

If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this 'ICE' (In Case of Emergency) Campaign

The concept of 'ICE' is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name 'ICE' ( In Case Of Emergency) .

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as 'ICE.'

For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!

Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our Mobile phones today! You may want to copy this and email to your relatives, your loved ones and friends.

ICE will speak for you when you are not able to.

'2006 Recipient of the Ministry of International Trade and Industry (MITI) Special Award for Quality Management Excellence'

Wednesday, February 04, 2009